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Sunday, December 30, 2007

book review, the Golden Compass
#40 The Golden Compass Philip Pullman 1995 * * * The writing and scenes were well done, but the story didn't do anything for me. Lots of people are saying this is a great book, and it is pretty good, but it doesn't live up to all the hype. ~ December 30, 2007

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danmanning.com

Saturday, December 29, 2007

The Cris Collinsworth School of Classical Music Appreciation.
Cris Collinsworth is so annoying my daughters mentioned the annoying man talking over the football game, so we were forced to mute the television and put on classical music during the Patriots/Giants game instead of listening to that blowhard Cris Collinsworth ruin another football game. We enjoyed Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries", Prokofiev's "Montagues and Capulets", Pachelbel's "Canon" and a host of other classics. My thanks goes out to Cris Collinsworth for an enjoyable evening with my family listening to classics so we wouldn't have to listen to you for 4+ hours being stupid.

(Contrats Pats)

I woke up at 5:00 this morning and cleaned my desk. I sent out 4 short stories, and through the miracle of electronic mail messages, or "email" as the kids like to call it, I got a reject letter the SAME DAY! A first. I re-wrote the ending to one story.

Savannah drew the most amazing bird sketches. They are suitable for framing.

Alex found 6 state quarters for our state quarters collection book.

Spoke to Barry for about an hour. Sat in front of the fire and read a book and wrote while Deb and the Girls went to baby Savannah's 2nd birthday party.

I had a root canal yesterday. Today I have vicodin :)

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danmanning.com

Thursday, December 27, 2007

youtube searches for you
some of these you know, maybe some you don't: go to youtube and search "dramatic chipmunk" , "kung fu baby" or "techno viking"

These are all clean fun, but don't view them at work, cause the man is trying to keep you down!

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danmanning.com

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

"serve and protect" my ass. oink oink.
from msnbc via dvorak.org/blog/:
Police cadets urged to go cause PTSD
Slogan of graduating cadets in Idaho draws ire of academy leader
The Associated Press 9:29 p.m. ET, Tues., Dec. 25, 2007

pigs serving and protectingBOISE, Idaho - A state police academy leader has disavowed the slogan of the most recent graduating class urging one another to "go out and cause" post-traumatic stress disorder.

Each class at the Idaho Police Officer Standards and Training Academy is allowed to choose a slogan that is printed on its graduation programs, and the class of 43 graduates came up with "Don't suffer from PTSD, go out and cause it."

According to the Veterans Association, tens of thousands of U.S. soldiers suffer from PTSD, which causes nightmares, flashbacks and physical symptoms that make sufferers feel as if they are reliving trauma, even many years later. Crime, accidents and other trauma can cause it in civilians.

Ada County Sheriff Gary Raney, who attended the Dec. 14 graduation, pointed out the slogan to the academy's director, Jeff Black, minutes before the ceremony began, Raney said. A photograph of the program was e-mailed anonymously to news outlets throughout the state.

"That's not something we encourage or condone," Black said. "It shouldn't have been there. It was inappropriate."

Black said the class president was ex-military, and that the slogan "slipped in." He declined to identify the graduate. Black said future slogans would be vetted by academy leaders.

"serve and protect" my ass. oink oink.

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danmanning.com

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas everybody. The presents are opened, the fire is in the fireplace, the wrapping paper is burned, and we're just chilling out at the Manning estate.

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danmanning.com

Friday, December 21, 2007

hyper realistic sculptures by ron mueck
these statues are friggin awesome. here's the link heard about it on the dawn and drew show.

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danmanning.com

i like turtles!

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danmanning.com

Thursday, December 20, 2007

if the beatles wrote "stairway to heaven"


found at http://www.dvorak.org

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danmanning.com

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

This is possibly the Greatest Video EVER!
You've got to see this video, it is the best thing I've seen on the Internet in a long time.

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danmanning.com

Monday, December 17, 2007

41 Years of Television Programming
Here's the List of Crap I've watched. It's off the top of my head and probably incomplete and inaccurate, but here it is:

Yogi Bear; Scoobie-Doo; Speed Buggy; Lost in Space; Bewitched; I Dream of Jeanie; Ultraman; Gilligan's Island; Green Acres; Leave It to Beaver; Grape Ape; Rocky & Bulwinkle; Kojack; Charlie's Angels; Brady Bunch; The Lawrence Welk Show; Dukes of Hazard; Mannix; Dr. Who; Star Trek; Sesame Street; Electric Company; Zoom; Nova; Battlestar Galactica; Twilight Zone; Night Gallery; Night Stalker; The Six Million Dollar Man; The Bionic Woman; The Incredible Hulk; Wonder Woman; The Incredible Hulk; Fantasy Island; The Price is Right; Name that Tune; Hollywood Squares; To Tell the Truth; The Gong Show; Dancing with The Stars; Sonny and Cher; Shields and Yarnell Show; Candid Camera; Cosby Show; Who's the Boss; Three's Company; All in The Family; Rhoda; Alice; Frasier; One Day At a Time; Cheers; Dallas; In Living Color; MadTV; Saturday Night Live; Austin City Limits; Second City Television (SCTV); Partridge Family; My Three Sons; Family Affair; Greatest American Hero; CSI; X-Files; Pee Wee Herman Show; Bugs Bunny Road Runner Show; Carol Burnett; Kids In the Hall; Seinfeld; Gunsmoke; The Cisco Kid; Bonanza; Kung Fu; The Simpsons; Futurama; 60 Minutes; Nightline; COPS; Survivor; American Idol; Hardy Boys; Nancy Drew; Drew Cary Show; Who's Line Is It Anyway; Reno 911; Sarah Silverman Program; Spongebob Squarepants; Dirty Jobs; Speed Racer; Charmed; 90210; Different World; Fat Albert; What's Happening; Maud; The Jeffersons; Good Times; Real World; Big Brother; The Bachelor; Joker's Wild; Who Wants to be a Millionaire?; American Gladiator; Ninja Warrior; Battle of the Network Stars; Acceptable TV; Roseanne; Flinstones; Jetsons; The Land of The Lost; Wonderful World of Disney; Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom; ; Quantum Leap; Petticoat Juntion; Donnie and Marie Show; Crocodile Hunter; David Letterman; Little House on The Prairie; The Saint; Emergency; Marcus Welby, M.D.; Doogie Houser; Allie McBeal; Boston Legal; C.H.I.P.S.; Columbo; Let's Make a Deal; Tonight Show; The Daily Show; Stephen Colbert; Different Strokes; Captain Kangaroo; Bozo the Clown; Kukla, Fran, and Ollie; Wheel of Fortune; Jeopardy; $64,000 Pyramid; Starsky and Hutch; Baretta; Facts of Life; H.R. Pufnstuf, Southpark; Monty Python's Flying Circus; Young Ones; Tom and Jerry; Underdog; Mighty Mouse; The Man From Atlantis; Three Stooges; Little Rascals; Abbot and Costello; Hawaii Five-O; Dragnet; Get Smart; Lassie; Munsters; Adams Family; Johnny Quest; Batman; Superman; Superfriends; Laugh-In; The Monkees; Josie and The Pussycats; Archie; Marries . . . With Children; The Wolfman Jack Show; Grizzly Adams; Flipper; Gomer Pyle; Andy Griffith; Hogan's Heroes.

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danmanning.com

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Television delivers people

danmanning.com

Television, the Drug of the nation
Awesome song to download on iTunes:
Television, the Drug of the nation(1991)
Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy

one nation
under God
has turned into
one nation under the influence
of one drug

[chorus:]
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
(2x)

T.V., it
satellite links
our United States of Unconsciousness
Apathetic therapeutic and extremely addictive
The methadone metronome pumping out
150 channels 24 hours a day
you can flip through all of them
and still there's nothing worth watching
T.V. is the reason why less than 10 per cent of our
Nation reads books daily
Why most people think Central Amerika
means Kansas
Socialism means unamerican
and Apartheid is a new headache remedy
absorbed in it's world it's so hard to find us
It shapes our mind the most
maybe the mother of our Nation
should remind us
that we're sitting too close to...

[Chorus:]
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
(2x)

T.V. is
the stomping ground for political candidates
Where bears in the woods
are chased by Grecian Formula'd
bald eagles
T.V. is mechanized politic's
remote control over the masses
co-sponsored by environmentally safe gases
watch for the PBS special
It's the perpetuation of the two party system
where image takes precedence over wisdom
Where sound bite politics are served to
the fastfood culture
Where straight teeth in your mouth
are more important than the words
that come out of it
Race baiting is the way to get selected
Willie Horton or
Will he not get elected on...

[Chorus:]
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
(2x)

T.V., is it the reflector or the director?
Does it imitate us
or do we imitate it
because a child watches 1500 murders before he's
twelve years old and we wonder why we've created
a Jason generation that learns to laugh
rather than to abhor the horror
T.V. is the place where
armchair generals and quarterbacks can
experience first hand
the excitement of warfare
as the theme song is sung in the background
Sugar sweet sitcoms
that leave us with a bad actor taste while
pop stars metamorphosize into soda pop stars
You saw the video
You heard the soundtrack
Well now go buy the soft drink
Well, the onla cola that I support
would be a union C.O.L.A.(Cost Of Living Allowance)
On television

[Chorus:]
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
(2x)

Back again, "New and improved"
We return to our irregularly programmed schedule
hidden cleverly between heavy breasted
beer and car commercials
CNNESPNABCTNT but mostly B.S.
Where oxymoronic language like
"virtually spotless", "fresh frozen"
"light yet filling" and "military intelligence"
have become standard
T.V. is the place where phrases are redefined
like "recession" to "necessary downturn"
"Crude oil" on a beach to "mousse"
"Civilian death" to "collateral damages"
and being killed by your own Army
is now called "friendly fire"
T.V. is the place where the pursuit
of happiness has become the pursuit of
trivia
Where toothpaste and cars have become
sex objects
Where imagination is sucked out of children
by a cathode ray nipple
T.V. is the only wet nurse
that would create a cripple

[Chorus:]
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
(4x)

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danmanning.com

Friday, December 14, 2007

Axl Rose, our country needs you!
Teenagers are still singing Guns and Roses lyrics? Maybe there is hope for the future:
WCBSTV.com

ROXBURY, Conn. (AP) ?

A school custodian's impromptu after-hours karaoke performance prompted a police response when a teacher thought she was being threatened over the loudspeaker.

State police say a teacher at Booth Free School barricaded herself inside a classroom Wednesday when she mistook someone singing a Guns N' Roses song over the public address system for a threat.

She was working after hours and thought no one else was in the building. Then she heard someone say over the loudspeaker that she was going to die.

Six troopers and three police dogs showed up and found three teenagers, one of them a custodian at the school, who had been playing with the public address system.

Police say one of them sang "Welcome to the Jungle" into the microphone. The song contains the lyrics "You're in the jungle baby; you're gonna die."

The teenagers were cuffed on the ground for about 15 minutes while police investigated. They were released after being questioned and state police Sgt. Brian Ness said they did not realize the teacher was in the school and will not face charges.

"These things happen," Van Ness said. "Luckily it was humorous. You kind of have a gut feeling. As soon as we got there, we spoke to the three kids. They understood."


Yowza! I can't believe no one got Tasered! <- comment swiped from http://www.dvorak.org

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danmanning.com

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

google this:
Treasury Enforcement Communication System

Your Government Loves You.

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danmanning.com

notes from the coffee shop
I’m in a Beaner’s Coffee Shop, and there are three young men writing some theological paper for college, something about "God gave man free will", and "Man walked away from God” etc, etc, and they are right at the next table. I want to scream, “You idiots are arguing and spending all this time about something that doesn’t exist! You might as well be arguing about Battlestar Galactica plot points!”

But I’m doing the same thing, because In the back of my mind, I think someone is going to read these words, but that “someone” may never exist.

(later . . .) These idiots are still at it. Now they’re trying to argue why Jesus was put on the cross. I’ve always imagined in my mind Christians sitting around debating how many angels can fit on the head of a pin, but I never imagined a stupider exchange of hot air in my most derisive imaginings. These two are so incredibly stupid.

(still later . . .)and now they’re parsing the word “submit” as in “wives submit to their husband.” The one guy actually says: “So I looked up the meaning of the word ‘submit’ and it doesn’t actually mean ‘submit.’”

I swear I want to strangle these stupid bastards.

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danmanning.com

Jesus F*cking Christ, will you guys stop wasting my money on this retarded sh*t?
Behold House Resolution 847, one of the many things on which these fucktards in the 110th Congre$$ are wasting time. The intrinsic retardation of this piece of shit legislation transcends satire or mockery. This bill is it's own comedy bit. The very radioactive nature of its stupidity, its disregard for the separation of Church and State, and the blatant use of a loaded issue to coerce votes boggles the mind and reaffirms my 0% hope in anything positive emerging from this cabal of worthless corporate-cock-sucking plutocrats.

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danmanning.com

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

spend $250.00 on a chance to win a doll! cripes!
So I'm listening to the local radio, usually I listen to NPR cause I like to think I'm a brainiac snob, but today I'm listening to (radio voice) Classic Rock 96.9 WLAV and they run this commercial from Woodland mall. It has two lady shoppers at the mall chatting, and they say something about "every time you spend $250.00 and be entered in an American Girl sweepstakes." and I'm thinking, who in the HELL is spending $250.00 at the mall more than once? Who are these people? So I check the website:
Spend $250 in one day in any store inside Woodland Mall between November 19 and December 16, 2007, bring your receipts to the Customer Service Desk and your receipts will be totaled, rounding to the nearest whole dollar and stamped as proof of expenditure. If your receipts total $250 or more from any store inside Woodland, you will be entered into a drawing to win an American Girl Doll with a retail value of $87. Only one prize awarded per person for any drawing.
I dunno, it just seems weird. Think I'll mention The Story of Stuff with Annie Leonard again.

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danmanning.com

Sunday, December 09, 2007

relaxo music
Hi!

Do you have the Internets? Do you have headphones? Then go to this place:

http://artists4mercy.org/Main.htm

and give it a listen. It's relaxo music.

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danmanning.com

Saturday, December 08, 2007

what your government is up to:
wanna be scared:

How about H.R. 1955, where they basically outlaw revolution; so you can't even talk about the government when they start really screwing up.

and H.R. 3791, where they'll hold anyone with an open wireless connection (coffee shops, bookstores, etc) responsible if someone looks at something bad on the Internets.

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danmanning.com

The Story of Stuff with Annie Leonard
The Story of Stuff with Annie Leonard I highly recommend spending twenty minutes watching this

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danmanning.com

Monday, December 03, 2007

blue moose moon zoo

blue moose moon zoo
frog toast flower dance
fish creep tickle pig
dog need wonder butt
book cake window nose
rain red monkey stuff
plant dream music big
eye boy water light
girl good summer bug
hug song yellow run

danmanning.com

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Book Review: Pride and Prejudice
#39 Pride and Prejudice Jane Austen 1813 * * * I know this is supposed to be a girl's book, but I read it anyway for the "what's the big deal" factor, because there are so many people (women) who are really into Jane Austen. Basically, Elizabeth goes to tea and visits friends and nothing happens. Mr. Darcy is a jerk, but then turns out he isn't a jerk. Various people say things. I couldn't finish this because I guess I'm too stupid to read it, or I'm a guy. Anyway, I don't get it. ~ November 26, 2007


more awesome book reviews by me can be found here

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Thursday, November 29, 2007

More than usual photoshop contest
smells like an army of one?
Wow, that's a career change:
The Army first reached out to parents in 2005 as part of its Army of One campaign by advertising giant Leo Burnett. These ads were directed by Samuel Bayer, who made his mark directing Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” video.
link

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police are lovin' the taser
I've found two cases on the Internets were police have tasered pregnant women in the neck. I've seen once case where they tasered a handcuffed woman. They tasered a student for asking a question. Can you imagine being issued one of these wonderful tools? You'd be itching to use it on somebody. Wouldn't it be great to be able to go around shocking people whenever you got frustrated? Remember folks: Obey or be electrocuted. The Authorities are here to help. We are no longer people, we are cattle to be corralled and prodded, like cows before a cattle-prod. God Bless America, and God save us from Ourselves.

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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Interactive Social Contract V.1.1
Interactive Social Contract V.1.1 Finally, a Interactive Social Contract for the rest of us. Read and add to this magnificent tome. Found at zefrank.org's blog.
SCAB WRITER FOR HIRE!!
Hell, why not? I can write funny stuff for talk shows. Hire me to write your funny material. How hard can it be? Half the stuff on late night isn't that funny anyway. Except the Daily Show. I don't have the moxie for that.

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Tuesday, November 27, 2007

amazon's customer service number
~ ~ ~

1-800-201-7575

~ ~ ~

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Monday, November 26, 2007

really long blog post about stuff
Today I did many things. I installed AV software. I exported contacts and calendars. I taught basic networking and backup procedures. I uninstalled bad software. I uninstalled bad software that had cost this company a lot of money. I replaced that software with .CSV files. The RFC dealing with Comma Separated Values is RFC 4180 and is found at this address: http://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc4180. All of this makes me sound like a smarty-pants, but those of you in the know know better. a CSV file is a text file. Text files are cool.

Then I networked network printing goodness, which, as all of you know, makes its own gravy. Then I had two hamburgers and a regular order of fries at a new place I've discovered, McDonalds. Then I drove home. Then I went to the gym and ran on the treadmill and did some sit-ups and lifted a few weights.

Later I'm going to drink wine and watch TV with the missus. Before I do that, I'm going to work on my bestselling novel. After all that I'm probably going to go to sleep. While I'm asleep I'm probably going to dream about stuff, but I won't remember that stuff when I wake up because I rarely remember my dreams, and that's too bad, because I probably dream all kinds of cool stuff, like I have super powers or something. If I had super powers, I'd fly around and right wrongs. I'd fly around in my 2002 Ford Taurus, ending wars and bringing down a healthy can of whoop-ass on a lot of rich bastards. ("waterboarding isn't torture? then you don't mind trying it out for yourself huh?") I'd cure cancer and grow limbs back on all the people, and fuse spines and cause corn to grow in places like Darfur. I'd turn all land-mines into pumpkins and all automatic weapons into those plastic tubes you spin around, and they whistle? You know, those orange and green flexible tubes, and the only reason they are there so kids can spin them around and they whistle? The problem with those, at least when I was a kid, is that eventually we'd get bored and start wailing on each other with them, and that hurts. Almost as much as hot-wheel tracks. Ever get beat with a hot-wheel track? Those orange pieces of plastic about a yard long? That hurts like a m0thrfckr.

My friggin' dog is outside barking. Ginger is a beautiful dog, but she's the last friggin' dog we'll ever own because I'm getting semi-old and I'm sick of messing around with the dog, but of course, whenever I see her I immediately start baby-talking to her, and I'm pretty sure if anyone hears me they'll think I'm a crazy person.

I downloaded the movie NETWORK on the tivo, and I'm looking forward to seeing it. I saw this crazy paranoid video called THE ZEITGUIST on Google Video and now I'm all conspiracy theory in the head. But not really. I still don't buy the "911 was an inside job" theory, even though it is true the neocon fascists used it to invade Iraq. That's okay, I'm so tired of being outraged I'm not outraged anymore.

Well anywhoo, nothing happened today. Goodnight and good luck

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Saturday, November 24, 2007

Carlin!

Friday, November 23, 2007

the 15 lateral play explained

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Thursday, November 22, 2007

Wii grasses up cheating wife
~ ~ ~
A US soldier discovered his missus had been playing away at home after spotting a suspicious "Mii" on his Nintendo Wii, the Evening Standard reports.

The man, known only as Tony, returned from a year in Iraq to reports from chums that his wife had been cheating on him. He'd had the Wii for company while on service in Iraq, but had mailed it back to the States prior to his return.

His other half claimed she'd only kissed the suspect, a professional bowler, once, but the Wii said otherwise. Tony emailed a Nintendo messageboard admitting he'd was "confused about his wife's denials of any indiscretion".

However, he continued: "All that changed when I plug in my Nintendo Wii for some Wii Sports. I flip through the Wii menu and visit the Mii channel so I can peruse the many friends that I have created with the guys that I played with in Iraq. As I go through the characters I see there is a Mii that I have not created."

Tony concluded: "I went into the Wii message board and click on the calendar option. Through this menu I was able to identify the many nights my wife's Mii and this other Mii character played Wii bowling."

And for good measure, the offending Mii was apparently "strikingly similar" to the bowling philanderer.

The end result? "Tony has separated from his wife and filed for divorce," the Standard notes. ®

story lifted from here: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/11/21/wii_grass/

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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

J a n c e e D u n n: J.C. Penney's 1975 catalog: Not Suitable For Young Children
No Sh!t.

No Kidding. The truth comes out. I cannot believe it:

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Former White House spokesman Scott McClellan says top administration officials -- including President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney -- were involved in his "unknowingly" passing along false information about the leak of a CIA operative's identity.

In October 2003, as controversy grew about the leak of Valerie Plame's name, McClellan stood at the White House podium and told reporters that Karl Rove, the president's top political adviser, and I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Cheney's chief of staff, had not been involved.

"There was one problem. It was not true," McClellan writes in his new book, "What Happened," which is to be released in April.

The excerpt, which consists of just three paragraphs from a 400-page book, reads in full:

"The most powerful leader in the world had called upon me to speak on his behalf and help restore credibility he lost amid the failure to find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. So I stood at the White House briefing room podium in front of the glare of the klieg lights for the better part of two weeks and publicly exonerated two of the senior-most aides in the White House: Karl Rove and Scooter Libby.

"There was one problem. It was not true.

"I had unknowingly passed along false information. And five of the highest ranking officials in the administration were involved in my doing so: Rove, Libby, the vice president, the president's chief of staff, and the president himself."

And so it begins. I always suspected that a few of these Administration Zombie Bastards might actually have souls. I just never imagined Scott McClellan would be one of them.

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undersimplify
~ ~ ~

undersimplify.
I just woke up and was thinking that word, and I thought, "damn, I bet no one has ever thought of that word." Undersimplify would mean to make things too complicated, as in, "You're undersimplifying this. It's not that hard."

But Alas, I Googled it, and yes, somebody else already thought of the word "undersimplify".

But it is a damn fine unword nonetheless.

Okay, it's 4:30ish in the morning, I'm going back to bed.

~ ~ ~

PS: Oh yeah, Google owns Blogger right? Why does the verb "Googled" trigger the spellchecker but "Google" doesn't? Andy why does "spellchecker" trigger the spellchecker? I'm supposed to make the word "spellchecker" into two words? I don't think so.

This post was posted without the use of drugs or alcohol. Really.

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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Procrastination Flowchart

Monday, November 19, 2007

No, Barry Bonds never took steroids:
From the book Game of Shadows:

"Since joining the Giants, Bonds had gone from a size 42 to a size 52 jersey; from size 10 ½ to size 13 cleats; and from a size 7 1/8 to size 7 ¼ cap, even though he had taken to shaving his head.."


Full grown men don't do that. At least they're not supposed to.

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Saturday, November 17, 2007

this is one reason is why network news sucks:
ABC News opening story for Friday, November 16:

Barry Bonds took steroids, and baseball has a steroids problem. How much time did they spend on this? 4:48. Almost 5 minutes on a stupid game.

The second story? A typhoon kills at least 1100 people. Time spent: 1:33. Less than two minutes on a catastrophe bigger than 9/11. Not only were those people killed, but their farms and homes were destroyed.

If every professional baseball player overdosed with steroids and died tomorrow, the world would be a better place because baseball is stupid.

That's one reason why network news sucks.

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Friday, November 16, 2007

Incoherent, Paranoid Rant
~ ~ ~

Will we be consumers for the corporate good? Will our grandchildren be issued credit cards at birth?

Will GovernCorp put up enough cameras to keep us under enough Surveillance to bring back the land of the free? Will we know when it is safe enough to take the cameras down again? They will take the cameras down again, right?

Will we monitor enough phone conversations and emails to give us liberty? Will GovernCorp keep us safe from the bad people? Will we know when it is safe enough to stop eavesdropping?

Will we ever learn to "cooperate" while we're being herded and hogtied by the friendly police? Will we cooperate when it's our turn to be waterboarded?

Will GovernCorp pick the right dictator to keep the Middle East still enough to extract enough oil out from under it to burn up the atmosphere?"

Will the President and Senators and Congressmen wear their Corporate Masters' logos on their suits like they do in NASCAR so we can see who they really represent?

Will we fight enough wars to employ enough private contractors to keep the Military Industrial Complex afloat until we become a completely militarized nation?

Will we write our tax laws in such a way that we make enough billionaires that eventually their sweet generosity will trickle down to the rest of us?

Will we become polarized enough so that our great divided nation can stand on its two feet?

Will we retroactively abort criminals?

Will we watch enough television to fill enough couches with enough asses that we won't notice the tanks roll down our streets?

Will we taser enough students and protesters until they stop asking questions and focus on consuming? Will we position our Free Speech Zones far enough away from our Dear Leaders to keep them comfortable?

Will we privatize enough prisons and fill them with enough people to keep the guards and administrators and food service companies gainfully employed? Can we imprison enough people to turn a profit?

Will we waterboard enough Muslims to make them tells us what we want to know and teach them to love our freedom and our respect for human dignity?

Will we go into debt deep enough to buy enough flat screens and iPods and cell phones and computers until we never have to interface with each other directly ever again?

Will we strip-search enough grandmothers in enough airports in the name of freedom to finally make the skies friendly again?

Will the atmosphere wipe us out fast enough to save the planet from ourselves? Will we build enough cars to fill enough roads so we'll all go back to riding bicycles and walking?

Will we put our six billion heads together and agree that birth control is bad? Will we pump out enough babies to collapse the world in on itself?

Will the dollar collapse?

Will we need a wheelbarrow full of dollars to buy a loaf of bread?

Will we know when we've cut down the last tree?

Will we kill each other for a glass of water?

Will churches have armories?

Will pickup trucks full of men with automatic weapon search the streets for those who do not believe what they believe?

Will the mail trucks stop delivering the mail so we don't know we're foreclosed on?

Will the food trucks stop filling the grocery stores? Will we eat the bark from trees?

Will we resort to cannibalism?

Will Democrats taste any different than Republicans if we marinate them with teriyaki or barbeque sauce before we cook them?

Will we starve until it is sociably acceptable to bludgeon our neighbors and cook them over open fires in our backyards?

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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

How to Cure a Hangover - Mahalo
Please God, send us some more water so we can waste it!
~ ~ ~

So, they're having a drought in the Southeast.
Ga. Governor Prays for Rain at Capitol

By GREG BLUESTEIN – 1 day ago

ATLANTA (AP) — Georgia Gov. Sonny Perdue stepped up to a podium outside the state Capitol on Tuesday and led a solemn crowd of several hundred people in a prayer for rain on his drought-stricken state.

"We've come together here simply for one reason and one reason only: To very reverently and respectfully pray up a storm," Perdue said after a choir provided a hymn. link
Isn't God the one holding the rain back in the first place? I mean really. And if He has a reason to send a drought down on Georgia, maybe it isn't our place to try to talk him out of it.

There are home owner's associations that won't allow people to hang out their laundry. No, that would ruin the aesthetics of the neighborhood. There are people who dig wells in their own yards so they can get past water restrictions. Not so they can save water, not so they can cut down on usage, but so they can water their lawns.

Yes, I think I know why God is causing droughts, fires, floods, and hurricanes all over the planet: God is trying to save the planet by wiping out the stupid, undeserving, fossile-fuel burning warlike primates that can't take a hint.

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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

the fastest car in the world


found at Mittopia, a pretty cool blog.

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No, you can't have your day in court. Now shut the f**k up and pay your parking ticket.
~ ~ ~
Cities Eliminate Right to Contest Parking Tickets
Boston, Massachusetts and Washington, DC effectively eliminate the right to contest parking tickets.

In an attempt to stem the loss of revenue from motorists contesting parking tickets, cities are effectively eliminating the traditional due process rights of motorists to defend themselves at an impartial hearing. By the end of next year, Washington, DC's Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) will not allow anyone who believes he unfairly received a citation to have his day in an administrative hearing.

"DMV will complete the phase-out of in-person adjudication of parking tickets in favor of mail-in and e-mail adjudication by December 2008," the Fiscal Year 2008 DMV plan states.

The move is intended to allow automated street sweeper parking ticket machines to boost the number of infractions cited well beyond the 1.6 million currently handed out by meter maids. As one-third of those who contest citations in the city are successful, the hearings cut significantly into the $100 million in revenue tickets generate each year.

Under the DMV's plan, motorists will only be able to object to a ticket by email or letter where city employees can ignore or reject letters in bulk without affected motorists having any realistic recourse. That's not good enough for residents like Emily Miller, who told us that being able to present her case in person was essential. The Sunday school teacher was found not guilty at an administrative DMV hearing in June of driving with an open container of coffee. She was so thrilled with her victory that she decided to fight a parking ticket issued to her in a location where the parking signs were contradictory.

Motorists in many cities besides DC complain about unfair citations. So far, Baltimore, Maryland's Inspector General has uncovered 10,000 bogus parking tickets issued to innocent motorists. In Boston and other cities in Massachusetts, motorists cannot challenge a $100 parking ticket in court without first paying a $275 court fee. If found innocent, the motorist does not receive a refund of the $275.

found here

Source: FY08 Performance Plan (Washington DC Department of Motor Vehicles, 11/9/2007)

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Monday, November 12, 2007

generic blog post
hi everybody.

today i stopped at 4 places and fixed computers. one of the houses was very large. i ran 4 miles and now i'm typing this. some other stuff happened.

thanks for stopping by. if more stuff happens, i'll type about it here.

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Thursday, November 08, 2007

set phaser on AWESOME!
electricCar=cool?

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

my buddy's buddy's letter to the editor
Barry's friend sent this letter in to the newspaper, and I'm passing the awesomeness on to you

Wichita Eagle, The (KS)
2007-11-06
Section: OPINION
Edition: main
Page: 6A

ISN'T IT TIME TO TAX CHURCHES?

With the demand for public services increasing, it is time to re-evaluate the current tax-exempt status for religious properties. In Kansas, 14.1 percent of the total appraised property value is exempt from property taxes simply because it is owned by a religious group or organization. This is $2.86 billion of untaxed property, according to a 2006 report titled "Erosion of the Kansas Property Tax Base," by Glenn W. Fisher.

Properties used by religious, educational benevolent organizations are exempted in the belief that they provide services to the community that reduce the burden on government. This exemption began with legislation dating from the 1860s. The churches in 1860 were much different from the churches today. Over the years, many churches have morphed into businesses. They have cash flow. They budget a portion of this cash flow to marketing. They have a payroll. They invest in training for their employees. They maintain faciliti es. They usually contribute to and are members of larger franchises. On top of this, our church community has become very politically active in recent years. Focus on the Family, American Family Radio and the Discovery Institute are but a few of the wealthy political organizations that are backed, at least in part, with church funds and are overtly engaged in political campaigning. It is not unusual for churches to offer voter guidelin es and to aid in fundraising for political candidates. Remember Phill Kline and his memo concerning church fundraisers? How about Ralph Reed?

It would appear that a greater percentage of church funds is being spent on salaries, facilities and activism than is being spent on community aid and works of charity. For these reasons and more, it is time to tax all religious property on an equal basis with private property. Let's put an end to public subsidies for religion.

P.R. COLQUETTE

Milton

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Monday, November 05, 2007

gr half marathon

behold my awesomeness!
cell phone Jammers: Pure Awesomeness
A cell-phone jammer that can fit in your pocket? The vindictive asshole in me loves it! There's an article on it in the NYT. website. But then again, I rely on my phone for my business. So on the other hand, I'd hate to have my phone jammed. But I would excuse myself from a resturant table if I got a call . . . Hm. . . . I'm torn by this.

They also have a link to a place to buy a cell phone jammer.

Anywhoo: Cell-Phone Jammers: Awesome!

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Friday, November 02, 2007

There's no "i" in "team." But there is a "m" and an "e".
The "me" in team kind of negates the entire "there's no 'i' in team" saying doesn't it? Remember folks: there's an "m" and an "e" in "team".

You have to have a little "me" time once in awhile. So this Friday, take a few more minutes on that smoke break. Take your time coming back from lunch, or don't come back at all if you can get away with it. Surf the Internets when you are supposed to be working. And while you do your actual work, don't give a 100%. Give 40%. You and I both know you're not getting paid as much as you're worth. Remember, you are the "me" in "team".

That's my motivational team-building snippit for Friday. Use it in staff meetings or at any other place where people are all like, "rah rah go team."

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Thursday, November 01, 2007

I'm watching Southpark!
The following conversation took place between a 41 year old man (me) and his 12 year old daughter (Savannah)

Savannah: "Dad, can we play the Wii?"
Me: "I'm watching Southpark!"

This actually took place.

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the GOP: Gay Old Party
Yowza, the Republicans love the salami. Another GOP representative has resigned because he is a closet flamer. It's always the conservative voting married dudes. It's not the gayness, it's the hypocrisy that's annoying. Let's all revel in someone else's personal failures! Yeah! Link Here

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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Can something be overhyped? Yes
I am a big fan of the Seinfeld series. I watched every single episode, and I love them all. I haven't been a fan of Jerry Seinfeld's stand-up, but I've always had a relatively positive opinion of him. But this friggin' "Bee Movie" has been so overhyped, I'm not going to watch it, ever. I'm so sick of hearing about it already. And now I check my inbox and lo and behold, there's an email from "conservation international" (never heard of them) and they're hawking this friggin' movie that I'm already sick of and I haven't seen it.

So, in conclusion, I hate "Bee Movie" and I hate Jerry Seinfeld for spawning spam.

I have ranted enough. Peace!

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something useful on the Internets
Yes, I know it's hard to believe, but I can actually use this site:

http://www.woodtv.com/Global/category.asp?C=14504

live traffic cameras on a google map overlay. Sweet.

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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Of course, because the State Dept. thinks it is okay to shoot brown-skinned people.
Yes, Blackwater murderers will get immunity. Jesus H. Christ on a Cracker:

U.S. promised Blackwater guards immunity, officials say

* Story Highlights
* Sources: Investigators said guards' statements wouldn't be used against them
* It's unclear if the State Department has the authorization to grant immunity
* Blackwater USA was involved in deadly shooting in Iraq September 16
* Blackwater has said shooting was justified; Iraqis called it "premeditated murder"

From Terry Frieden
CNN

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- State Department investigators promised Blackwater guards immunity from prosecution for last month's deadly shooting of 17 Iraqi civilians in Baghdad, according to officials familiar with the matter.

That could potentially complicate any attempt to bring criminal charges in the case, the officials said.

The Justice Department and FBI refused comment on the investigation, which the State Department announced in early October. Blackwater also declined to comment.


this sludge was scraped from CNN. Mercenaries: cute. cuddly. like little kittens.

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Monday, October 29, 2007

To the Hague! To the Hague!
This is the only news story that said his Evilness had to "flee" France, but I hope they chase this rat-bastard down and put him on trial at the Hague for war crimes. Again, this is the only story that has him actually "fleeing," but I love the thought of that:

Rumsfeld Flees France, Fearing Arrest

By , IPS News
Posted on October 29, 2007, Printed on October 29, 2007
http://www.alternet.org/story/66425/

Former U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld fled France today fearing arrest over charges of "ordering and authorizing" torture of detainees at both the American-run Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq and the U.S. military's detainment facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, unconfirmed reports coming from Paris suggest.

U.S. embassy officials whisked Rumsfeld away yesterday from a breakfast meeting in Paris organized by the Foreign Policy magazine after human rights groups filed a criminal complaint against the man who spearheaded President George W. Bush's "war on terror" for six years.

Under international law, authorities in France are obliged to open an investigation when a complaint is made while the alleged torturer is on French soil.

According to activists in France, who greeted Rumsfeld, shouting "murderer" and "war criminal" at the breakfast meeting venue, U.S. embassy officials remained tight-lipped about the former defense secretary's whereabouts citing "security reasons".

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Sunday, October 28, 2007

gr half marathon

Today I ran the Grand Rapids HALF marathon. That's 13.1 miles of pure awesomeness. It was cold and DARK at 7:00 this morning. I and a couple of other runners commandeered a Metro Health VIP tent with a heater in it and waited for the start. Normally I listen to music when I run, but the website said it wasn't allowed, and I, being a rookie, didn't bring my tunes. Of course, every other person had their headphones on. I did pretty good, or at least I thought I was until I realized an 80 year old man was pretty much beating me, and on mile 9 I finally caught up with this lady who was POWER WALKING! So with no music, I decided to improvise and I sang "Working in A Coal Mine" the DEVO version. That got me in a good rhythm; good thing too. I finished in 2:26:28. The guy who won the full marathon (26.2 miles) finished about thirty seconds after I did. At least I "beat" that guy.

Anywhoo, I am awesome. Oh yeah, they had beer and food at the end. That was cool.

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Saturday, October 27, 2007

i'm not sure what to think of this . . .

Friday, October 26, 2007

generic blog post
Hi, this is a generic blog post. Today I did some stuff. Some stuff happened on the news, and I'm planning on doing some stuff later. When I do some stuff, or hear about something interesting, I'll post it here. Thanks for reading.

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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Her arm was found near the accident still clutching a cell phone.
Woman's Arm Severed In Car Accident

A Letcher County woman suffered a horrible injury early Thursday when her arm was severed in a car crash on the Mountain Parkway in Clark County.

Jacqueline Dotson and her six-year-old daughter had to be cut out of their vehicle after the accident in which Dotson veered into the median and over-corrected, rolling her truck over the guardrail and landing upside down after flipping several times.

Several people stopped to help, and it turns out, the good samaritans may very well have saved Dotson's life. Sheila Vice, a nurse's aide, and an off-duty EMT from another county stopped to help, and put a tourniquet on Dotson's arm to stop the bleeding. Her arm was found near the accident still clutching a cell phone.

"Basically we stayed there and talked to them until the EMT drivers got there," said Vice.

Rescuers used the jaws of life to get the Dotson and her daughter out of the truck. Both were flown to hospitals, and Dotson is listed in serious condition at UK Hospital. Her daughter is not in the hospital, and sheriff's officials say they believe she's going to be fine.

Both were wearing seat belts.


thanks barry! link

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guy arrested for providing LINKS to copyrighted material
The site doesn't actually host any copyrighted material. It just provided LINKS to it, the guy gets arrested anyway.

Probably the most popular video streaming site around has been busted by UK authorities.

It's a sad day for streaming video fans everywhere as news has been reported that TVLinks has been shut down and the owner, a 26yo man from Chelteham in the UK, was arrested.

Though not hosting an actual content himself, and rather merely providing links to where particular titles can be found, he was nonetheless apparently charged for the "facilitation" of copyright infringement.

"Sites such as TV Links contribute to and profit from copyright infringement by identifying, posting, organizing, and indexing links to infringing content found on the internet that users can then view on demand by visiting these illegal sites," said a spokesman for Federation Against Copyright Theft (FACT) today.

What makes the charges so odd is that he was again, only providing LINKS to pirated content, and never actually hosted anything. Can linking really be considered "facilitation?" If I link to TVLinks am I then a co-conspirator?



found here

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YouTube comments suck! how to be rid of them
I woke up at 5 this morning, couldn't get back to sleep.

So, do you hate YouTube comments as much as I do? It makes me realize how stoopid other people are.

Well, I searched "script to remove youtube comments" and I discovered this:

http://userscripts.org/scripts/review/7981

it lets you view YouTube videos without the annoying comments. I use Firefox and a plugin called Greasemonkey. You geeks out there have probably known about this forever, but I'm kind of slow on the uptake.

So anywhoo, just thought I'd share that with out. Comments suck.

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unfrickinbelievable photo synth demonstration